I really wish I lived in Alabama

Since I started this blog, I've really wanted the central focus to be hip hop, but it hasn't really worked out that way thus far. I'm not sure what to account to that. Maybe I'm just not inspired to blog my opinions about who 50 cent is beefing with at the moment or which new indie album stinks. But then my homie Kags put me on to this video. I warn you, there's no way you will be able to change your life back to the state it was in before you watched this, so proceed with caution.




And there you have it....

I looked around the internets a bit and was able to find out that evidently this video was brought to the mainstream by sassy lesbian daytime talk show host Ellen Degeneres, but if you're one of the VERY FEW unlucky people who have to WORK when daytime TV is on, I figure you may have missed this.

I would say there's a very strong possibility this is long lost father of Detroit MC/Celebrity Fat Club contestant Bizzare,
BUT (and thats a very big but...actually, lemme remix that) BUT,
the man's ability to "rap" on beat (the TV dude, not Bizzare) makes me think there's probably no family relation.

Apparently, the man in the video, who I assume is the owner of this fabulous establishment, is named Sammy Stevens. Unfortunately, due more so to the current climate of hip hop than my own distrust, I'm going to have to address Mr.Stevens credibility as a hip hop artist. A huge underlying issue in hip hop today is MC's supposedly not living out their lyrics. I've even heard rumblings that Eminem really didn't kill his wife and that Nas isn't really a gun. I personally don't see the big deal, but it forces my hand into addressing Mr.Stevens's video. The Montgomery Flea Market is just like a mini mall? IS IT? To me, judging by your lyrics in the start of the song (living rooms! dinettes!!! OH YEA!) , and the images of your flea market, it doesn't seem anything like a mini mall at all! In fact it looks like a plain old furniture store to me! I really hope there isn't a tape floating around of Mr.Stevens conversing with some white people about how he's never even been to a mini mall. I also hope Benzino doesn't get a hold of this tape and publish it in Hip Hop Weekly.

But, lets not kill all hope. NO! This is a time for celebration! What I do hope is that one day I get to meet Sammy Stevens. After hours and hours of tireless research and looking at microfilm and swimming through a sea of card catalog's (36 seconds of google) I've learned that the Montgomery Flea Market is in Montgomery, Alabama.

This made me sad .
After hours and hours of tireless map reading and plotting (15 seconds on mapquest) I found out that its over a 16 hour drive from my mansion (not mansion) to the establishment.
SIGH
If anyone is down to take a few days off work to travel to Alabama during springtime to meet this guy, please holler at me. We can split the gas money. I'm assuming once Sammy Stevens sees the t shirts with his face on it, life size cutouts of him I've ordered, and bible I've re-written to include his name in place of Jesus, that he'll buy us dinner and let us crash either at his house or on one of the astonishing couches at the mini mall.

God bless you Sammy Stevens. Or should I say, Sammy Stevens bless us everyone.