Senility Is No Excuse

I'm sure you've heard about the Don Imus fiasco in the news right now so I'm not going to bother typing out the back story (its called google, use it...although if you live in a cave dark enough to have not heard of this news story, I assume its also very possible you don't use google, but I digress). I normally refrain from weighing in on the more popular new stories out of fear for clichéd repetitiveness, but being that my father listened to Don Imus's radio show any time I was in the car with him during the AM hours, and that I'm an employee of the University in question, I feel the need to shed a little light on whats going on.

First things first, I don't listen to Don Imus very often. On occasion when I'm flipping through the radio dials on my way to work I'll check it out for a few minutes, but I'm no fan. In fact, I'm a huge Howard Stern fan which virtually makes it impossible to be an Imus fan. I've drawn up a chart for those who are confused so far.


Lets continue.

I dislike Don Imus. Not because of his remarks towards the Rutgers Women's Basketball team, no matter how racist or sexist they were. No. NO!

I dislike Don Imus simply for the fact WFAN could fill his slot with something that wasn't completely boring, unfunny, unlistenable and irritating. When I'm on the way to work there's very few options to begin with. Opie and Anthony are hit or miss, and the void created by Howard Stern and Starr and Buckwild's absence from regular radio has left me no choice but to occasionally drop by Imus's broadcast. Its a waste of my energy, but I keep checking anyway. I dislike the guy because his radio show stinks.

Regardless, being the son of an Imus fan, I have heard countless hours of his programming. For those of us in the know, this whole issue has been very mind bottling (I recommend Blades Of Glory by the way, seeing Craig T Nelson portray a figure skating coach is worth the price of admission alone, not that I payed to see it). Wondering WHY on earth THIS remark has been the one to set off such backlash and outcry against Imus causes me to experience levels of confusion matched only by an Imus-aged individual trying to put content on an mp3 player. Don Imus has been making comments this offensive about every single race, sex, religion, and nationality for over 20 years. It kind of makes me feel like all I'm learning through all this, is that Al Sharpton either had no idea that Don Imus existed before this week, or really really really really likes women's NCAA basketball.....a lot more than i do (this last sentance was a joke, please don't expose me Al Sharpton, everything in parenthesis is NOT a joke, I'm on your side really, leave me out of this :-( ).

I'm not defending Imus's remarks what so ever, but its kind of funny that it took me a few days into this story to understand what people were so offended by. In all seriousness, 16 years of being a Hip Hop fanatic has desensitized me to the word "ho" to a degree where I actually had to let the fact that people find it offensive sink in for a few days before I understood it. Does that make it right? Of course not. Just a fun little factoid.

Once I finally understood what was offensive part was, I started pondering a piece of information thats been glaringly omitted during this crises. Don Imus has gotta be pushing 70 something by now. I mean look at the fuckin guy...I'm sure most of you have at least 1 or 2 grandparents that appear to be in better shape than Don Imus has been in the last 15 years. I'd also be willing to bet, that most of you have or have had grandparents that say things more racist and ignorant than anything Don Imus said.

Why isn't there an outcry against racist old people? Because, at some point people just look at senior citizens and think "awwww he's old and confused, thats just the time he's come from, thats just how he was raised....lets put him to bed early before he upsets the neighbors". Its time to give Don Imus the same treatment. He's ancient and out of touch... and he's going to piss off your dinner guests at some point.

Its time to take Don Imus off the air. Not because he's a bigot. Not because there's no place in our society for racial humor. But because he's way too old for this. And for the love of god, stop letting that guy put cancer kids on a cattle ranch.

"Hey Jimmy, since you have cancer we got you a very special gift! You get to go spend the summer on a cattle ranch with Don Imus!"

"Who?"




(editors note - I have absolutely no Idea why the 2nd half of this blog is in bigger text than the first half...I tried to remedy it, I failed...I can't be bothered to fuck with it anymore...fugg it!!!)

These Dollars Are The Same Size!

Let me start this off by explaining to you foreigners (not from NJ) that in the state of New Jersey, it is ILLEGAL to pump your own gas. Everything is full service. I'm not sure what the reasoning behind this is, but it has a bonus effect of providing me with laughter and joy every time I go out of state with someone who's lived their whole life in Jersey, when they can't figure out how to fill up. I can see how the process might seem easy and pointless to me being a native New Yorker for the first 18 years of my life, but the fact the instructions are right there on the pump give me the pass to laugh and laugh when the born-jersians are struggling.



This brings me to the point of this snoop bloggy blog. A few days ago I'm sitting in my car getting 10 dollars worth of Sunoco's finest (unleaded) into my truck (Toyota Echo) and waiting for the guy (man) to come collect my 20 and give me my change.

Upon handing the kind gas servant my 20 dollars, he responded with "Do you have anything smaller?" Yes. Yes I do. In fact I have literally thousands of 10 dollar bills stuffed into my glove compartment, but I get my jolly's by going from gas station to gas station and conning them into giving me their 10 dollar bills as change for my 20's. I love it. I can see why it seemed unresonable and shocking that I'd have a 20 on me. I doubt anyone ever tries to pay for 10 dollars worth of gas with a 20 expecting the gas station to have change. The state of utter shock and frustration on his face was understandable.

I didn't want him to be wise to my 10 collecting heists, so my I pulled out a nickel and asked if it was small enough. Then he shot me in the face and I'm dead now.