Wrist Approved Money Saving Tips

Lets face it. You need money. MMMMM Delicious delicious money. The root of all evil but the cure for all problems. MMMM. I know a lot of you are struggling to make ends meet in todays ipod a minute, super-robot house cleaning, virtual reality boxing world. Have no fear! The Wrist is here to outline a few very usefull and easy money saving tips that will save you money in the hundreds every month! Without wasting more time (and money, time = money) lets get to it!

1.Sleep More - When people are awake they constantly spend money. Money for gas to get somewhere, food to eat, electricity to run your gadgets,etc etc. The American lifestyle is designed to make you want to consume constantly. One of the very few fail-safe ways to avoid being tricked into buying Lexus's and Cereal every hour when watching TV, is to sleep. You don't need to spend money when you sleep what so ever. If you can increase your amount of time spent sleeping by a mere 4 to 5 hours a day, you can save tons of money. Then you can spend your savings on cooler things to sleep on, like hammocks and bean bag chairs. If you can't force yourself to sleep, have a friend (or enemy) knock you out a few times a day.

2.Quick Dash Out Of Quick Stop - This one isn't for fat people, but next time your at a convenience store insist on paying by debit card. Give the cashier your card, and when they hand you the receipt to sign, run out the store like Rosie O'Donnel after a slice of lesbian-pizza (ok maybe this will work for fat people). If the receipt isn't signed, the bank cannot make the charges to your account, thus you will never have to actually pay for that pack of gum and box of condoms eating away at your wallet every week. It isn't technically stealing because the store clerk already gave you a bag.

3. Become A Nudist - Clothing prices are outrageous these days. If your boss gives you shit about comming to work with your no no's showing, make up some religious excuse, like "this is how god made me" or claim that the only reason your boss isn't cool with the new attire is that he envies your penis size. Trust me it works.

4. Become A Contract Dane Cook Killer - Lots of people are annoyed by Dane Cook. If you can find like 20 of them (just look anywhere where the main population isn't homosexuals or girls in their early 20's and it'll be easier than turning off a Dane Cook special) convince each of them that you've been hired to destroy Dane Cook but you're just a few bucks short of having it done. They'll throw money at your feet at this point. If these people come to you later asking why he hasn't been taken care of, turn to them and say "hey wait a minute, are not YOU Dane Cook?????????". That'll be the end of that.


.........part 2 to these tips comming soon